A quick Google search reads as follows:
“Menopause is the time in a woman’s life when her period stops. It usually occurs naturally, most often after age 45. Menopause happens because the woman’s ovaries stop producing the hormones estrogen and progesterone. A woman has reached menopause when she has not had a period for one year.” (medlineplus.gov)
But isn’t menopause so much more than that? And why is there no conversation about it
I reached menopause when I as 38 years old. No, I didn’t know that that was what was happening to my body. For starters, the little that I have heard about menopause was that it was not going to happen until I was at least around 50 and that it was probably going to happen later for me since it usually follows a pattern with mothers and daughters. My Mom started to experience menopause symptoms in her late 50’s and really, her period stopped completely closer to her 60’s. So, here I was in complete denial when my OBGYN told me that that’s what was happening to me. I was scared. Why this early? What was going to happen?… I had so many questions! For some reason the first one was: “Does early menopause shorten life expectancy? So, naturally I went to my friend Google who “kindly” responded:
“Life expectancy in women with menopause after age 55 is 2.0 years longer than those with menopause before age 40″ … “CONCLUSIONS: Age-adjusted mortality is reduced 2% with each increasing year of age at menopause. In particular, ischemic heart disease mortality is 2% lower.” (medlineplus.gov)
Great! No, not really. I learned after, that there were many more questions. Osteoporosis? I didn’t see menopause coming so that was out of control already.
Perimenopause? At the time that it started, my father was dying and I had moved countries. There was so much going on that I didn’t even realize that it was happening; neither did my doctors. I never had hot flashes and if I did, I probably never felt them. I’m always cold. Mood swings? Well, my father was dying and I was dealing with my kids getting used to a new school, a different language and a new everything…so that wasn’t unusual. Heavy bleeding? My bleeding was always heavy so that didn’t call my attention either. I had trouble sleeping alright, but I thought that it was for all the reasons mentioned before. Changes in sexual desire…you know the answer to that… How could I have any sexual desire after trying for months to keep it all together for both my family and my dying father?
So, how about treatment? By the time my doctors figured out what was going on, the symptoms were nonexistent. I didn’t even have to consider anything. Maybe the silver lining to all of this? Maybe.
“Don’t you like a period-free life?” Some of you might ask. Yes, I do. I don’t miss my period. At all. But, what I do miss is my great skin and my flat stomach. I know that it sounds superficial but if there is one thing that the lack of those dam hormones does, is show you how gravity works. So I try to compensate all the negative feelings by reminding myself that I don’t miss my period. Sadly, though, I remember quickly that I miss not worrying about my bones and I hate to wonder if I am going to live long enough to meet and enjoy my grandkids.
When I was going through this, none of my friends could relate so I felt alone. I could talk to my Mom and her friends but menopause for them was a distant memory. I didn’t know anyone that had early menopause and I wish I had. But, now you do! So, if you want to share your experience, please comment and let’s start a conversation. I am sure that we can learn from each other and not feel so alone.