I grew up in a family of four girls. I often think about the days that we spent with my Dad looking into the hood of our car, learning how to change a light bulb or a whole switch and many other things that boys were “supposed to learn”. My father always made sure that we knew that we could do anything a boy could do. He made us understand that our gender made no difference in what we could accomplish. My parents enrolled us in one of the best private schools and made sure that we learned more than one language, travelled, and that we were educated. “Education is a gift that no one will take away from you. It will help you when you are thriving and it will help you get out of trouble when you get there”, my father once told me. In fact, he said “it’s the best gift that I will give you and one that will keep giving once I’m gone.”
Many years later, with that advice in mind, I started my professional journey, never doubting for a moment, that I couldn’t achieve everything I wanted. I chose to work in advertising, a male-dominant industry. Nonetheless, at the age of twenty-two, I came to New York on vacation and ended up staying and working at Ogilvy and Mather. Needless to say that all I did was work late hours and that I did anything in my power to do the best job I could; I loved every second of it. Even though I was low in the hierarchy, I was full of dreams and energy and the hope that one day I’d become whoever I wanted to be in this world enchanted me ever since my father asked me to help him with his business catchphrase. Everything was going well. I met my husband at the agency. We got married. I had to find work in another agency because my husband had “the better job”. And then…we had a baby, then a second one, and then a third. Working while raising them was challenging. I didn’t have family around to help and my salary wasn’t enough to cover the babysitter’s, so I freelanced for a while. When my kids were older, I decided to go back to work full time, not realizing that it was going to be an impossible mission. After all, I was closer to turning 40 and was a woman as well as a mother. It didn’t even occur to me that that was not appealing to businesses but I found out very quickly.
So, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. When did it become acceptable or even “normal” to lose interest in a women the second she turns forty? How come elder men are considered “experienced” and start earning a better salary? In my experience, a woman is so valuable after hitting forty. I feel so much more resourceful, creative and strong now than when I was twenty. I am no longer trying to figure out who I am or what I want. I have so much more time in my hands because of that. I am extremely efficient, knowledgeable and assertive. I truly think that I would be a better asset to any company than I ever was before. But guess what? I apply for jobs weekly and I don’t even get a chance. And I am left wondering… is it that I’m a woman over 40? Or both? And then I remember my Dad’s advice and I keep trying. Because I know that I can do anything that a man can do. It will just take more work. That’s all. It’s unfair. But that’s all.
